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I am sad like an orphan, I am sad
like expired milk.

the greatest of distances, dotted lines
of latitude, the lengths I’ve promised
I’d go, cannot always
be bridged.
somewhere in between the waiting,
spanning time like noise in the branches,
the thicket’s dead stare, I sink down and into
a reality of curdled disease.

I’ve shared space and air and sighs
with those too close for comfort; a
warm chair, dry-heave tag-teams
racing for the sink, an erect palm
waving a pride that should be mine.

I’ve had all the time in the world
to waste on mistakes. with make-shift
memories, I’ve built my own bridges
from bed to bed to bed, rising above
my sour shadow, their
telltale invitations to gape
or leave.

I am empty like the sky, I am sad
like sutured skin.

I’ve tried to build a bridge of love
alone, but it’s overgrown
and endless
and not strong enough to close
this widening hole.
January 18, 2009.

:sniff:
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Daily Deviation

Given 2010-03-10
:icondelliversagain:
delliversagain Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2011   General Artist
This is a half and half one to me. 2 clichés which ruined the mood for me (too close for comfort, built my own bridges) but all in all, I enjoyed the flow.
Reply
:iconbrokensymphony:
brokensymphony Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2010  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Great work. It's very elegantly lyrical, in spite of the nature of some of the imagery. The DD was well-deserved.
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2010
Thank you so much!!
Reply
:iconraneva:
Raneva Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
I can only say 'wow'..
This poem really touched me.
The structure, the words..they're all little masterpieces to create one big masterpiece.
It's been a while since I've encountered such a talented writer..To me it seems you captured the emotions perfectly.
You truly deserve this DD, keep up the good work!
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
A 'Wow' from me in return. Thanks so much. That was a really sweet comment. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Reply
:iconraneva:
Raneva Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
You're very welcome! :hug:
Reply
:iconthe-helloed:
The-Helloed Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
I rarely ever ever ever read poetry, but this is really nice... it's inspiring yet it makes me kinda sad... excellent work ^_^
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconfictionalsoul:
FictionalSoul Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010  Student General Artist
the imagery is beautiful, I love the repetitive "I am sad like..." bits, they are different but convey the feeling well. great piece =)
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
Thank you very much for your flattering comment.
Just a question though...All of a sudden I am receiving 30 comments on this one poem I uploaded months ago. I'm a little surprise, haha. Is there any reason for this, that you know of?
Reply
:iconfictionalsoul:
FictionalSoul Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2010  Student General Artist
you're welcome!
(& sorry for the late reply!) if you haven't already found out, this piece got a daily deviation~ that's likely where all the publicity is from. =)
Reply
:iconhinatakaname:
hinatakaname Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
You received a DD!
Thats why everyone comments...XD
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2010
Haha...finally figured it out!
Reply
:iconhinatakaname:
hinatakaname Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
XD
Reply
:iconlynxclaw:
Lynxclaw Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
It's so wonderful in it's own sad way. It captures the feelings of loneliness and hopelessness perfectly... It's funny how I look into the daily deviations feeling this way almost, hoping to find something like this, but not expecting to... And yet it's there.


Congrats on the DD! You really deserved it, and I hope that things get better for you~
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
:blush: Thank you very much. I often search for poetry with a specific itinerary but usually turn up empty-handed. I'm glad that you found something in my poem to enjoy.
Reply
:icontoshiiro:
TOSHiiRO Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010  Student General Artist
:heart: Enough said.
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
:heart:
Reply
:iconyumiku:
Yumiku Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010  Hobbyist
wonderful! :clap:
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
Awe, thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconyumiku:
Yumiku Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010  Hobbyist
you're welcome!! :hug:
Reply
:iconsilvercanis2442:
SilverCanis2442 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
It isn't a complete, abstract mess that you can't relate to or understand. This is good. I like this.
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
I appreciate your honesty.
Reply
:iconstevieann14:
stevieann14 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
wow, this is amazing. good job!
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
Thank you. :D
Reply
:iconquo-girl:
Quo-Girl Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
I can see moments of loveliness and gloominess within this poem. I like the way you arranged the words in such a way that creates this interesting imagery like running to the woods or an open field. I can relate to this somehow and also not really. There are times when I can see that others experience something worse than I have or I have felt worse about life than they have and it's one of those things that are hard to explain sometimes.
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
Definitely hard to explain. Thank you for the empathy. I appreciate this comment so much.
Reply
:iconquo-girl:
Quo-Girl Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
you're welcome. :D I often wish that I could write poetry similar to this because being an artist, all these flashing images in my head are not always easy to describe. I wish I could easily come up with words to describe images. And when they say a picture is worth a thousand words, I think it's probably words that come through your mind sporadically and it's overloaded, so you just settle for one word or sentence. lol I mean, personally, writing takes a lot of time to comprehend and have the words registered in your mind. I know writing is a gift that people have and I see that you def have that. :pat:
Reply
:icontheamazingfulone:
TheAmazingfulOne Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
so sad. I love it :( :) <3
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
:heart:
Reply
:iconnly:
NLY Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
Meh.
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
:)
Reply
:iconcll1202:
cll1202 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
that is sad
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
=/
Reply
:iconsabacat13:
Sabacat13 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
Beautiful :heart:
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
Thank you :heart:
Reply
:iconelainatehkitty:
Elainatehkitty Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
Love this poem. It seems really sad, in a quirky way. You painted a beautiful, abstract picture with words, in my opinion. But, I see where this comes from.
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
Thank you very much for your comment. It means so much.
Reply
:iconjlminks:
jlminks Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010   Writer
woah, some serious keatsian melancholy here. the imagery is so concise and the words are quite perfect.
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
:blush: Oh, the flattery. Thank you so much!
Reply
:icongonzale:
Gonzale Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010  Professional Photographer
beautifully put into words.
unsure about the image that goes with it.
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
Thank you for your honesty! :)
Reply
:iconscarypet:
scarypet Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010   General Artist
simply, sigh....

good job!
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
:(
Reply
:iconbirdf:
birdf Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
I really enjoy quirky poems like that =)
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
Quirky...thanks! I love that adjective.
Reply
:iconbirdf:
birdf Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
I love it, too :D
Reply
:iconmychem-totheend:
mychem-totheend Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
beautiful <3 like a dead fish in a wheelchair
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
Hehe...perfect. :heart:
Reply
:iconamy--louise:
Amy--Louise Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
Lovely sad poem full of lovely imagery. I hope you feel better now. :hug:
Reply
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