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Submitted on
January 19, 2009
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I am sad like an orphan, I am sad
like expired milk.

the greatest of distances, dotted lines
of latitude, the lengths I’ve promised
I’d go, cannot always
be bridged.
somewhere in between the waiting,
spanning time like noise in the branches,
the thicket’s dead stare, I sink down and into
a reality of curdled disease.

I’ve shared space and air and sighs
with those too close for comfort; a
warm chair, dry-heave tag-teams
racing for the sink, an erect palm
waving a pride that should be mine.

I’ve had all the time in the world
to waste on mistakes. with make-shift
memories, I’ve built my own bridges
from bed to bed to bed, rising above
my sour shadow, their
telltale invitations to gape
or leave.

I am empty like the sky, I am sad
like sutured skin.

I’ve tried to build a bridge of love
alone, but it’s overgrown
and endless
and not strong enough to close
this widening hole.
January 18, 2009.

:sniff:
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Daily Deviation

Given 2010-03-10
:icondelliversagain:
delliversagain Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2011   General Artist
This is a half and half one to me. 2 clichés which ruined the mood for me (too close for comfort, built my own bridges) but all in all, I enjoyed the flow.
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:iconbrokensymphony:
brokensymphony Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2010  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Great work. It's very elegantly lyrical, in spite of the nature of some of the imagery. The DD was well-deserved.
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:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2010
Thank you so much!!
Reply
:iconraneva:
Raneva Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
I can only say 'wow'..
This poem really touched me.
The structure, the words..they're all little masterpieces to create one big masterpiece.
It's been a while since I've encountered such a talented writer..To me it seems you captured the emotions perfectly.
You truly deserve this DD, keep up the good work!
Reply
:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
A 'Wow' from me in return. Thanks so much. That was a really sweet comment. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Reply
:iconraneva:
Raneva Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
You're very welcome! :hug:
Reply
:iconthe-helloed:
The-Helloed Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
I rarely ever ever ever read poetry, but this is really nice... it's inspiring yet it makes me kinda sad... excellent work ^_^
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:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconfictionalsoul:
FictionalSoul Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010  Student General Artist
the imagery is beautiful, I love the repetitive "I am sad like..." bits, they are different but convey the feeling well. great piece =)
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:iconmetalmistress:
metalmistress Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
Thank you very much for your flattering comment.
Just a question though...All of a sudden I am receiving 30 comments on this one poem I uploaded months ago. I'm a little surprise, haha. Is there any reason for this, that you know of?
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